Valheim is a lovely viking survival game with mysterious trees and carrots that simply refuse to be planted. It’s a strange, strange world, and one player has discovered another one of its quirks. Having sent their viking longship down a cloud-touching mega-ramp, soared through the air, and hit the sea, they discovered that water in norse purgatory is actually made of trampoline.
A brave and curious viking by the name of “HotGUUUUU” spent an entire evening building a colossal mega-ramp. A titanic chute high above the mountains that they’d use as a longboat launchpad, which would not only let them glide gracefully in the air for a while, but also get them out to sea a bit quicker than usual. I mean, who actually has time to sail, you know?
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Firstly, I am in awe of the sheer velocity the longboat gains when hurtling down the mega-ramp. It is akin to the rattle of a plane taking off, or those particularly high octane moments in the bobsled film Cool Runnings.
What’s most extraordinary is the way the boat collides with the water and springs off into the sun, though. I was expecting it to plunge into the sea, shred some mackerel, almost quit to desktop at the sheer strain of the endeavour, and eventually bob back up to the surface. But nope, it literally reflects off the water with ease, not even a ripple registered.
As one commenter so eloquently puts it, “Why is the water made out of trampoline”. Another commenter who is almost definitely a viking monk replies, “Odin wills it so”. I suppose that does make sense, I mean, the gods are in charge of Valheim after all.
I went for a little sailing trip in Valheim with my friends the other day, but having seen this footage, it now feels a little tame. Next time, I will suggest we build a mega-ramp, and maybe we’ll bounce across the sea toward untold riches.