Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day, perhaps for all time.
Milkmaid Of The Milky Way is a really sweet little 2D point and click adventure about milkmaid whose favourite cow is alien-abducted. The Milkmaid does not take this well. It’s got classic puzzle adventure game vibes, beyond even LucasArts stuff – I think it reminded me most of The Legend Of Kyrandia, if that comparison is of any use to you.
It’s also entirely in rhyme.
This by itself will have turned a lot of you off, which is fair enough. I myself hate poetry, having been forced to study boring bastards like Ted Hughes and William Wordsworth. Wandered lonely as a cloud, eh? If you’re that lonely why are you here bothering me about it.
But I beg you to reconsider, because Milkmaid Of The Milky Way is actually well fun, and sweet, and charming. You spend only a bit of time wandering around the fields and mountains of your home, where you make cheese and stuff, before you are compelled to go a-cow recuin’. The majority of the game is spent sneaking around the weird, golden spaceship. Most of the aliens are actually quite friendly and helpful.
I’ll admit that some of the puzzles are a bit obscure – you know, “use-flower-on-hotplate” to, inexplicably, make a special kind of tea that will make a guard fall asleep, or whatever, even though the guard has not mentioned being wired on coffee and nobody has hinted at the soporific effects of the flowers, that kind of thing – but not so obscure that you’ll ragequit in frustration or have to look up a guide. S’just a nice, well-made little point and click adventure. With poetry.