Chelsea Handler Reveals Reason She Broke Up With Jo Koy: ‘I Have To Choose Myself’

Jul 21, 2022

Chelsea Handler is opening up about her split from Jo Koy.

In case you haven’t been following, news broke Monday that the comedian couple had decided to go their separate ways despite their beautiful connection and history. While they seemingly left on great terms, they didn’t provide a specific reason for their breakup. And these things are never as clean as “conscious uncoupling” type statements would have you believe.

Well, the former Chelsea Lately host has now opened up on the We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle podcast Thursday, and provided some insight as to where things went wrong, starting off by expressing:

“It’s nice to bend for people. It’s nice to learn how to compromise. It’s nice to learn how to demonstrate my love publicly. … I believe Jo needed that.”

It’s great that she’s looking back so fondly and finding positive relationship takeaways. And she definitely did learn how to demonstrate her love publicly — her Instagram breakup post was one of the sweetest things we’ve ever seen! And about the post in question, she revealed that she believed Jo “needed to hear those things, and I really thought I needed to say them.” Absolutely. It’s always better to leave off on a good note.

She continued:

“I was so inspired by us, but Jo didn’t crack me open. My psychiatrist cracked me open, and then I was open, and then I was able to bend for somebody. …. But you can’t change somebody intrinsically.”

So it seems like while the Easter Sunday star offered Chelsea a lot of love, he maybe wasn’t up to par with her newfound openness… The After Lately alum added that she was “willing to do so much bending,” but ultimately reached “a line,” later admitting:

“I’m proud of myself because I didn’t let myself cross that line.”

Boundaries are key in any relationship, even if they’re hard to set because of the love you have for that person!

But what was the dealbreaker??

The Life Will Be The Death of Me author later explained how she had worked through a lot of her traumas through therapy and meditation — but insinuated that her ex wasn’t necessarily ready to do the same. And that was something she couldn’t settle for, as she carefully added:

“I understand the wanting to avoid that, the avoidance of wanting to look in with that and I think I’m at a place in my life that I have to be with somebody who is where I’m at with that. That’s not to say anything about Jo Koy. I love him, and he’s on his own path. If I have to choose one person, I have to choose myself.”

It sounds like Chelsea is in a real enlightened place! And Jo… isn’t there yet?

It’s sad to see the two split because they seemed so right for each other, the story of being friends for years was so lovely. But at the end of the day you’ve got to do what’s best for you! Especially if you’ve worked so hard to get yourself to a place where you’re more healed and self-aware, which it sounds like Chelsea is. Sometimes self-awareness leads you to having to make difficult decisions in your own best interest. She clarified:

“No one cheated or anything like that. It just didn’t work out. I did everything I could to make it work, but it didn’t work out. I wanted to make sure that everybody knew that this is a different me. This is the first time that I’ve ended a relationship where I’ve felt like an adult.”

In particular, she’s proud of how adult she’s being by dealing with breakup in an “honest way” for the first time, “instead of distracting, deflecting and doing all these things to say ‘I’m fine! I’m fine!’” And her support system is helping her deal with the heartbreak head-on!

“In therapy, out of therapy, with my girlfriends, with all my support systems knowing that when you’re in pain, sit with it. Not to go away and take an edible — even though I’ve always loved edibles. Not to try to numb your pain.”

What great lessons! LOVING how Chelsea sounds so positive and healthy while going through something so painful! She declared:

“I’m okay. I feel, you know, optimistic about the future now. I’ve changed so much and my love was so big that it just blew me open. And as painful as the ending of something like that is, I’m so well-versed in therapy and understanding that every door shutting is a new beginning and I do believe it.”

We can tell there’s still a lot of love there — but importantly we see the love and understanding Chelsea has for herself. So important! What do you think about Chelsea and Jo’s reason for breaking up? Let us know in the comments below!

[Images via Chelsea Handler/Instagram & MEGA/WENN]

Breakups